Leg pains and forget what I said years ago

I have to say that I am not enjoying this anymore.  Not that I ever was. But, recently my legs have been bothering me.  It is hard to even sit here typing. They both ache. Walking sometimes is hard. If I have managed to fatigue either of them it is like walking with the proverbial rubber crutch.  I must look like one of those poor people that folks see tottering along in old age. Well, I am old, but not that old yet.  This certainly is a new wrinkle in something that is supposed to only impact shoulders.   So- We have weakness to the point of falling, but not quite yet.  Luckily this usually is only one leg or the other. If both went at the same time, I would be down for the count.  Pain is bearable, but a constant reminder of something that is not right down there.  It starts at lower back almost to my butt and runs down to hips and knees.  Standing makes it worse. Usually sitting is better unless it is as I am now with a desk chair and arms extended to keyboard.

And the arm still bothers me at night trying to sleep.  Actually now that I say that, turning from one side to the other is harder again, and staying any time on my back irritates that achiness.  Oh well.  It is not like I Have to get up and go to work. But, it is harder to get around and stay out doing anything at this point.

That brings up another issue.  I ran into someone recently who asked me if I thought I identified with the disease too much.  I know I mentioned here before that I was trying not to do that- some mumbo-jumbo about not “being the disease.”  I think it is good to try to keep that attitude.  It is very hard to do it with a condition that is chronic, or that is constantly evolving as it cycles through you.  Sure, I do not go up to someone and introduce myself “Hi I am Joe Blow and I have HNA.”  But, there are few times in a day that I am not thinking about it in some way.  If not in a cycle of pain, it finds other ways to remind me it is there.  If I get complacent and forget about it for a while, I usually end up dropping something or hurting myself trying to pick up something that is way too heavy and I should know better than to attempt at this stage.  So, to that person (if you ever make it to the blog and read this) I guess I do identify with it a bit too much- maybe more than I would ever admit.  But, it makes itself hard for me to ignore it.  Now, I really do have to go. Sitting here just is no fun anymore.